How time flies

So, it's been 4...4.5 months now? I apologize for the lengthy absence. To be completely frank, I've taken a lengthy absence from life. I figured, since I'm about a month away from returning from this life hiatus, I might as well fill everyone in.

Whooah though, where to start?

 Ohhhhkay. So. I guess I technically started the hiatus in, April-ish? Everything always starts with my relationships. My marriage was kind of crashing around me. Mostly to my own doing, but relationships are a two-way street. I was losing myself in my marriage, in my "military wife" title, in having nothing to honestly call my own. With all of my friends' lives going in different (dare I say "better?") directions, I was having a bit of an existential crisis. Which I turned to some shit for comfort. Wasn't a wise decision, but I didn't know any better; didn't want to know any better. I took all of my frustrations out on my husband, and for that I am eternally sorry for.
  Anyway, I finally shook my head clear and decided it might be best for me to return to my roots. See my family, my dog, my friends who knew the "real" me. Sat my husband down, told him I booked a one-way plane ticket, and left. Well, left two months later.
  Fast-forward to July. I left around the 16th, and maybe a week before that my high school color guard instructor contacted me and said that if I was going to be in town for long enough, he had a job for me. I jumped on that job faster than anything. I love guard, will always love guard. Once I met the kids, I knew I belonged. End of July, I became the Ritchie County High School Color Guard Instructor. I absolutely fell in love with each and every student, and each of my guard girls have changed me in ways I couldn't imagine.
  Back to the original story at hand, so I'm in my hometown and for the first few weeks it was great. I belonged here, I loved it here in the MOV. Keyword, LOVED. Now, when it came to seeing my pets, my family, and my closest friends; I do love it. However, I am viewed as a novelty product, since I don't technically belong anymore. I've been gone for too long.
  I did get to do what I needed to accomplish though while I was here. I found myself, again. I'm still the same person, but now I don't feel the need to question it. It's okay that I got married at 19, and that I'm still married at 23. In fact, that's an honorable feat. Something no one expected.
  Helping those kids at RCHS definitely helped me too. I've never felt more pride in my life over anything or anyone. I can't imagine them not in my life. My only hope is that I've taught them something, because they helped me more in my crisis than anything else could have.
I'm a girl from appalachia, a color guard instructor, a college student, a wife, a military wife, a pet-mother. I'm overweight but confident, a humanist that leans a bit more towards feminist, a child at heart, in mind, and in spirit. And I am completely okay with all of this.
  It's taken 5 months, 5000 miles, and a whole group of people to help me get here. I'm now okay, and I fully intend on returning to writing, school, and hopefully continuing my color guard instructing. That is, if I can attend some clinics.
  And for anyone who thinks I'm a horrible person to leave my husband; 1) after explaining a bit, he understood why I had to leave, and 2) turned out he was going to be absent most of the time anyway. (by "most" I mean a decent 85-90% of the time I've been in my hometown, he's been gone on the ship) Which I did not know when I started, but I'm so glad that was the way it turned out. I feel horrible for having to go, but I just had to.
  I know this isn't very clear as to why I left, kind of points all the blame at my husband, but it wasn't all him. In fact it was mainly my brain, and it was stuff too personal to actually get into. I just felt like getting it all out now. It needed to be out.